Je kop boven het maaiveld steken…

woensdag 2 september, 2009 15:25 | Wat verder ten tafel komt | Frans Doeck

Ha die Kaa,

Ik had eigenlijk al wel weer gehoopt van je te lezen sinds het akkefietje waar Freek ons gisteren in heeft geluisd. We hadden ook kunnen weten dat die kleine vleesprop ons niks dan ellende en verderf wenst in het leven. Hoe konden we hier nou met open ogen intrappen Karel? Als we logisch na hadden gedacht; natuurlijk verdienen we geen bakken met geld door naakt rond te gaan rennen voor Stichting Aap over het hoofdveld van onze locale voetbalclub tijdens de wedstrijd. Ik vond het al wat vreemd worden toen hij zei dat we er apen geluiden bij moesten maken. Ik baal wel dat ik weer degene ben geweest die eraan moest geloven omdat jij naar eigen zeggen al zo vaak gepakt was voor zogeheten ‘streaker acties’.

Het enige wat ik kon denken was “gaan!” toen Freek de verlossende woorden “NU Frans!”vanaf de tribune riep.  Ik herinner me de helft niet meer omdat ik door de zenuwen in een verdwaasde roes over het veld rende. Het enige wat ik nog weet is dat ik rakelings met m’n ontblote klokkenspel langs de tweede doelpaal rende (onder luid gescheld van supporters) tot ik met een rotgang door een beveiligingsmedewerker met m’n Duitse helm in de grasmat werd gebeukt. In de dorpscourant zag ik vanmorgen dat ze me in de houdgreep van het veld hebben getild…

FransDoeck_Streaker

Achteraf jammer dat ik geen tijd meer had gevonden om m’n sokken uit te doen. Mijn vrouw was woedend toen ze in de krant zag dat ik met m’n nieuwe setje sokken van de Wybra door de blubber van het hoofdveld had gebaggert. Enfin, vanaf dat moment begon de ellende waar geen mens op zit te wachten.

Zo zat ik even later met m’n ijzige balzakje bij de directeur van de club op kantoor om verhaal te doen van het voorval. Toen ik vertelde dat het voor Stichting Aap was sloeg hij zo woedend met z’n vuist op z’n bureau dat ik alles bij mijn benen omlaag m’n sokken in liet lopen. Hetgeen hem nog vuriger maakte omdat z’n Perzisch tapijt onder mij ook meteen van mijn vloeibare antibeitslaag voorzien was. Toen ik vervolgens een bruine kruimeltaart vanuit m’n rug kopjes voelde geven heb ik vriendelijk toch dringend gevraagd of ik even naar het toilet mocht. Eenmaal op het toilet heb ik eerst even met m’n hoofd tussen m’n knieen zitten jammeren om me vervolgens als een kat in het nauw door het wc-raampje naar buiten te wurgen alwaar ik razendsnel het struikgewas in ben geschoten. De toegesnelde pers heeft me zelfs daarbij nog op de gevoelige plaat vast kunnen leggen…

 frans_runaway

Terwijl ik met zevenmijls passen door het open veld rende hoorde ik achter met vanuit het stadion de verveldende lachende stem van Freek nog gillen; “Ik STA voor Aap, moehahaha”. Ik moet die jongen niet op de camping tegenkomen want dan is hij van mij. Ik kom zelf overigens de komende week even niet meer m’n caravan uit. Het staat hier bezaaid met fotografen op de camping. Heb jij mijn sokken en kleren nog meegenomen die achter de duck-out en de in de wc lagen Karel? Zo ja, zou je ze door het raampje van de caravan willen drukken als niemand in de buurt is? Bij voorbaat dank grote vriend.

Groetjes van een Frans met een griepje…

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  97. Valeria Chaumont schreef,

    februari 6, 2012 @ 01:50

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