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Goeedemiddig Frans,
Volgens de tamtam in de kampeerwinkel worden de glutenvrije stokbroden niet meer langsgehaald door de altijd opgewekte en meest vriendelijke Frans, maar door die ontzettende zware tegenpool van je, Hermien! Wat is er aan de hand met je? Ben je ziek? Weer depressief? Geestenziek? Jeuk aan je deurmat? De mensen uit de winkel zijn het een beetje zat om de door jullie tekkels ondergezeken zure pis uit de schone sportsokken te wassen. Kan je het voorstellen? Graag horen we even van je. Misschien kan je in het vervolg je dochter hierheen rollen, want die ijskoningin van je met die duivelse tweeling worden niet meer toegelaten voorbij de draaihekjes van de kampeertoko. Ook de kantine is verlopig einde oefening. De dozen trekdrop waren niet meer aan te slepen. Misschien kan je haar vertellen niet meer halfafgeklauwde plakkerige dropunits op de rand van de gokkast te drukken. 
Verder lapt ze ook alle kledingvoorschriften aan haar laars. Vanochtends was ze weer gespot met een naveltruitje bij de visvijver. Toen ik haar hierop aansprak werd opeens mijn aandacht getrokken naar iets dat in mijn gezichtsveld zat te glinsteren. Net beneden haar kanariegele opgekropen truitje zat iets dat niet daar hoorde. In eerste instantie leek het mij te gaan om het mikballetje van ons imcomplete jeu de boelsetje wat haar gehele navelgat vulde. Om beter zicht te krijgen moest ik haar pokdalige met zweet bedekte onderbuik wegschuiven van haar net iets zwaardere tweeling dit de bovenkant zat af te dekken. Het was nog een hels karwei om grip te krijgen op deze kolos. Uiteindelijk lukte het mij om een weg te banen naar een van de donkerste plekken op moeder aarde. Al snel sloeg mijn enhousiastme als een blad om. Als ik had geweten dat het om een king-side klos garen ging, had ik de moeite niet genomen en had ik het zojuist tot mij genomen brinta-ontbijt niet hoeven missen. Maar goed.
Frans. Misschien zou je nog even willen zoeken in de caravan. Ik dacht dat ik het balletje voor het laatst had gezien in het opbergvakje in de deur van je caravan. Hopelijk ben je op tijd fit voor de zeepkistrace van komende zaterdag. Het zou zonde zijn om het timmerwerk van de afgelopen vijf en een half maand aan wat kriebel aan je zak voorbij te laten gaan.
Ik hoor van je!
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