Verboden vruchten zijn de zoetste
Ha die Kareltje,
Gojje gojje wat nou toch weer een trammelant Kareltje. De hele nacht hebben Gonny en jij elkaar dus in de ongewassen haren gezeten? Ik ben met een doffe dreun uit bed geklapt toen vannacht om half vier de telefoon ineens ging. Door je withete gemoedstoestand kon ik je stem amper herkennen aan de telefoon. Je stem klonk echt als een piepend kinderfietsje die in jaren niet van olie voorzien was. Gelukkig herkende ik op de achtergrond het geluid van die ronkende afvalverwerkingsfabriek waarnaast jullie caravan geparkeerd staat. Door het gepiep heen verstond ik nog dat jullie ruzie ging over Gonny’s onvrede omtrent het stallen van je fiets in de caravan s’nachts?
Het is vanuit Gonny gezien ergens ook wel te behapstukken. Het is natuurlijk niet ideaal om met een zadelpen en stuur in je rug te moeten slapen. Kan je fiets niet buiten onder je afdakje met heater staan of roest dan alles weg? Ik vind wel dat ze te ver is gegaan toen je zei dat ze je VOC modelboot op den duur in duizend stukjes tegen je hoofd stukgooide. Maanden werk voor niets geweest. Maar we moeten positief blijven en in oplossingen denken. Zoals ik het begreep heeft Gonny een ultimatum gesteld: Zij eruit of de fiets. Dat laatste lijkt me sowieso niet denkbaar. Als goede fietsvriend wil ik je dan ook graag in raad en daad bijstaan met het maken van de juiste beslissing. Het voordeel van je fiets tegenover Gonny:
- Fietsen worden eigenlijk nooit zwanger. (Ik leg nog wel es uit waar de kinderfietsjes dan vandaan komen)
- Je fiets ergert zich niet als je een boer of scheet laat.
- Je fiets laat zelf ook geen bier-windjes onder de dekens.
- Je fiets hoeft zich niet eerst een uur op te maken voordat je weg kunt.
- Je kunt je fiets elke dag van de maand bestijgen.
- Je fiets kun je zonder problemen met 2 mensen bestijgen.
- Je fiets piept alleen als er echt iets mis is.
- Je fiets kan het niet schelen hoeveel andere fietsen je hebt gehad.
- Je fiets heeft nooit middenin de nacht honger.
- Je komt altijd tegelijk met je fiets aan op het hoogste punt.
- Het zal je fiets worst zijn of je naar andere fietsen kijkt.
- Fietsen vinden het prima als je fietsbladen koopt.
- Je fiets ruikt zonder parfum nog steeds lekker.
- Als je op je fiets scheldt, hoef je niet je excuses aan te bieden voor je hem opnieuw kan berijden.
- Je kunt zo lang fietsen als je wilt zonder dat je fiets gaat klagen.
- Je kunt stoppen met fietsen wanneer je maar wilt zonder dat je fiets gefrustreerd raakt.
- Je ouders houden geen contact met je oude fiets als je al lang een nieuwe hebt.
- Een fiets beledigt je niet als je niet goed kunt fietsen.
- Je hoeft niet te douchen voor je je fiets mag gebruiken.
- Een fiets zal zich niet drie keer per dag moeten om kleden.
- Een fiets zal zichzelf nooit te dik vinden.
- Als een fiets goed onderhouden wordt, ziet ze er ook na 20 jaar nog goed uit.
Het voordeel van Gonny tegenover je fiets: Je fiets weet niet hoe het gasfornuis werkt. Je fiets kan niet tussen je billen kijken als je jeuk hebt. Meer voordelen weet ik even niet te bedenken maar er zitten dus wel duidelijk twee kanten aan de medaille. Wellicht is er een compromis te bedenken, waarbij zowel de fiets als Gonny om en om binnen in de caravan overnachten. Gonny heeft immers een lederen huid als dat van een volwassen nijlpaarden mannetje, koud zal ze het niet s’ nachts niet krijgen onder het afdakje voor de caravan. Ik hoop dat je wat aan m’n goedbedoelde adviezen hebt. Daar zijn vrienden voor Kareltje. Verder wel eens aan een vouwfiets of eenwieler gedacht?
Sterkte en met vriendelijke grutjes;
Frans Doeck
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